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The Wildflower Blog | Rachel Stewart Health Coach

An Open Letter to the Woman Who Hates Her Body

I see you. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and hate what you see. I know why you avoid sitting down because of your stomach rolls or why you skip dessert so you don’t hate yourself. I know what it’s like to wage war against your body, to see it as the enemy. Hating your body consumes you.

You try all the diets. Skip meals. Endure grueling workouts. Cut out carbs. Cut out fats. Count calories. Order a salad when you really want a burger. You lose weight. You gain weight. But nothing helps. You have never loved your body. Either you are so strict you can’t enjoy your life, or you enjoy your life “too” much that you end up resenting yourself.

You never think you are good enough. It’s easy to recognize all the “flaws” covering your bodies. The stretch marks, the rolls, the jiggles. How could you possibly be happy or love yourself while being so “imperfect.” What solutions do you have? Deprivation, frustration, and hatred. It’s exhausting.

If only your body looked the way you wanted it to. Then everything would be different. You would finally be happy because the war you have been having with yourself for years will be over. Or you see pictures of women on Instagram with the perfect body and the biggest smile and you wonder what it’s like to love yourself. If only your body looked the way you wanted it to.

Stop. Stop. Stop. 

Break the cycle. Happiness, true happiness, doesn’t come from the outside and it isn’t manifested from hate. No matter how “perfect” you look, it won’t translate into genuine happiness. You will never be satisfied with a body you don’t love and appreciate. You need to develop a true relationship with yourself and cherish who you are. You need to recognize your “imperfections” as qualities that make you beautiful, unique, and extraordinary.

Think about this. Your body is amazing. No matter how much you hate it, it’s still there for you. Do you know anything or anyone in your life that is that strong or loyal? If you criticize a friend like you criticize your body, do you think that person would still be there for you? My guess is probably not. You are so harsh and critical to your body and you constantly tell it it’s not good enough. But yet here it is. No matter how much you hate your body it’s always there for you, and hate will never transcribe into love.

For most of our lives, we have been programmed to hate our bodies. There are billion dollar industries that thrive off your insecurities. They convince you the only way to be happy, or even healthy, is to look a specific way. Creating doubt in yourself is their goal.

To love your body you need to be radical. You need to cherish it despite the urge you have to hate it or change it. 

At first, the feeling will be terrifying to you. And trust me I know how foreign it will feel and how difficult it will be. It is a battle you have to be willing to fight every day. But in the end, it will be the greatest gift you can give yourself. Pure, authentic love. You need to value how unique and special you are.

You are beautiful. You are strong. Your body is perfect in every single way. Redefine your definition of beauty. You are exactly how you need to be. Start believing it.

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